Rough Guides
Rough Guide: Opposition
Rough Guide: Club History

Rough Guide: Boston
Rough Guide: Who's Who

The Naughties
Classic Service Stations
Inept Defending Of Our Time
My (Bankrupt) FC
Skam Sports
All features

impsTALK stuff
About impsTALK
Contact us
Sites we like


Older seasons

Witton Albion

Club Details
Send hate mail to:

Wincham Park
Chapel Street
Wincham, Northwich

Telephone: 01606 43008

Windows Live Map

Matchday prices: Adults – £7
Concessions – £4
Kids under 16 – £1
Who the hell are Northwich Athletic?
The name Witton Albion can be traced to a team based in the area as early as 1887 – so this bunch have certainly been around a bit. The fledgling Cheshire non-leaguers were conscripted into the Northwich and District League in 1892, the first of a number of funny sounding provincial leagues that they joined in their formative years.

In 1920, Albion became founder members of the Cheshire County League, enjoying considerable success in the following decade, sweeping league titles and cup triumphs galore. Perhaps unluckily, Witton were overlooked when the Northern Premier League was formed but in 1979 they stuck it up the blazers’ arses and won promotion to the division on merit anyway. Ten years of mid-table obscurity followed before Witton made any tangible impact. In 1991, they finallyly won the NPL Premier Division title and secured promotion to the top-flight of non-league football. Even more excitingly, the promotion also secured them an appearance as a playable club on Premier Manager 2.

The step up proved too much, too soon, and Witton were relegated in 1994. It was the first relegation in their history, but another followed just three years later as Albion found themselves languishing in NPL Division One. They would return to the Premier Division, but only as a consequence of the pyramid reshuffle.

The last two seasons have seen something of resurgence in fortunes and Albion fans can count themselves as quite unlucky not to have won promotion to the Conference North. In 2006/2007, Witton were denied the title by one measly goal, with Burscough scraping home. They were defeated in the playoffs by Telford.

With that narrow miss possibly weighing on their minds, Witton went one better the season before last and somehow contrived to blow a huge fourteen point lead at the top of the table. The choke of all chokes allowed Fleetwood to pinch automatic promotion and left Albion to flop in the playoffs again, this time to Buxton.

Last three seasons

2007/2008 - 2nd in Northern Premier
2006/2007 - 2nd in Northern Premier
2005/2006 - 8th in Northern Premier

Claims to fame
Unusually for a club at this level, Witton were embroiled in what some have audaciously termed a ‘worldwide controversy’ after an incident during the 2004 Cheshire County Cup Final.

Oddly, the final wasn’t being streamed live to 8.3 billion people but an incident during the match involving a streaker and Witton captain Brian Pritchard would become the focus of widespread media attention. Controversy raged when, with the match between Witton and Woodley Sports delicately poised, the streaker raced onto the pitch, organs a’danglin’, evading what little security was present at the venue (which you probably won’t be surprised to learn was Altrincham’s Moss Road).

The Witton skipper was, understandably, less than impressed and decided, as many disgruntled sportsmen do, to take matters into his own hands. And why not? He was a policeman by day, after all. Pritchard tripped the naked man, sending him tumbling briefly to the pitch. The streaker was shortly afterwards apprehended and escorted away.

Then, Pritchard, to the disbelief of the crowd, received a straight red card. Indeed, the crowd were so engulfed in raging disbelief that they started punching each other. That’s the kind of thing that happens when you visit Moss Road. Thomas Pitt would have been right at home: “Draw your sword, rascal! Take that! & that!”

Witton eventually lost the game 2-1.

Where do they keep getting caught offside?

Witton proudly proclaim Wicham Park to be one of the finest non-league grounds in the country. Is it? Fuck knows, we've never been. So here's another lazy cut'n'past job from Windows Live that will have to suffice until we've visited and passed our oh-so-important judgement on the place.

Sodium chloride
Witton are based in Northwich, home to some other non-league chancers we can’t remember the name of. And Northwich is, of course, the self-proclaimed salt capital of the United Kingdom.

The salty heritage of the town is simply inescapable. Salt has been mined in the area since the Romans were around, which means we could quite conceivably simply cut and paste the entry for Nantwich – which also fancies itself as a salt powerhouse – without you even noticing.

Thankfully, it appears that the great salt rivals have not allowed their historical industrial heritage to impinge on football matters. Try as we might, we simply couldn’t find any evidence to back up our fears that fans of Nantwich and Northwich gather in pub car-parks and chuck at each other before police arrive to disperse the sodium chloride ruck.

Unfortunately, the salt industry has left Northwich with a unwanted legacy. Abandoned salt mines snaking under the town have caused massive subsidence problems, problems surpassed only by a certain Victorian sewer in Boston. A project to remove salty water from the mines and replace it with a sludgy ash to support the unstable ground above was completed in 2007.


Official site
Visiting fans' pub guide thing

Anything to add?
Tell us more about Witton, recommend a pub or try and obtain our bank details by E-MAILING us.
Ashton United | Bradford Park Avenue | Buxton | Cammell Laird | Eastwood Town | FC United of Manchester | Frickley Athletic | Guiseley | Hednesford Town | Ilkeston Town | Kendal Town | Leigh No Way Are We Even Dignifying That | Marine | Matlock Town | Nantwich Town | North Ferriby United | Ocid Town | Prescot Cables | Whitby Town | Witton Albion | Worksop Town

Copyright © 2002-2014 | Contact impsTALK