all the action from Bower Fold - LIVE(ish)
Sling yer hook!
- Life is full of intriguing questions about day-to-day life
for which there are no readily available answers. Like, for example,
what would happen to my shopping if I were mown down by a car on the
way back from Co-Op? Would my cans of Value Beans and the roll of
extra-strong bin liners merely be left at the side of the road, or
would they be packed off with me to the morgue? And if they were to
be retained, at what point would the authorities ask my (hopefully)
grief-stricken relatives if they'd like to keep the bin bags? Can
you imagine being the liaison officer tasked with that one? 'Yes,
he is a bit of a mess. We're still looking for his right arm. Still,
look on the bright side - there was buy-one-get-one free on beans.
He died doing what he loved.'
questions, questions - with nary an answer to be heard. Well, apart
from, perhaps, the Sanders question. That wasn't a shot from where I
was sitting. If you feel like you have the answer to any of the above,
please do feel free to drop
impsTALK an e-mail.
- Moaning Mitchell is cut off mid-flow by BBC Radio Lincolnshire.
My licence fee has just paid for itself.
2.35pm - "No Nicholls, not that big a surprise is it?" scoffs Adam. "Also sounds like Crane is to be sacked, shit, shit and shit. WHY TONY, WHY? Also how annoying, finish work just too late to get to the game but early enough to get home and be made to do some DIY. We had better win!"
- The teams
0 mins - Kick off! Let's get on with it then.
2 mins - A relief that Talbot is playing given the way he limped off against Hucknall. It looked ominous at the time.
mins - 'They look half decent,' reports Chris Cook. That's
us stuffed then.
10 mins - Oops! Chris Wright shows the touch of Leroy Chambers attempting to control a punted long ball, loses possession and is fortunate to escape with no damage done. And to think! There's no Tony Crane to go over and 'encourage him' with his fists.
12 mins - 'If [Smith] managed to force a good save, Froggy
would have scored it,' another Adam protests. 'Time for Ellender
to step up to the plate now it looks like Sir Tony might not play for
20 mins - Really not a huge amount to report. Except Dagenham losing.
22 mins - CHANCE! Froggatt swings a boot and sends the ball sailing over the stand. Well, after his goal on Wednesday night, he might as well.
24 mins - 'Stalybridge,' muses David. 'Weren't they on that Scottish comedy "Absolutely" where they would forever have council meetings and decide that a road sign would suffice instead of a jobsworth called Henry with a hat that cast authority all over the place? By the way, if Crane was given the sack, would he carry away his pies in it?'
mins - More history - 'Photos from the last time we played
at Stalybridge,' offers Adam...
31 mins - Still not a huge amount happening. 'The player "Smith?". Is he paying tribute to Irish Altena-Rockers "Therapy?" asks Ian. 'Or is he being all 10CC with us and being artsy for arts sake?'
36 mins - CHANCE! Out of absolutely nothing, Lee Ellington spanks a powerful shot that defeats Wright and cracks off the post. Let off for Boston! Ellender heads over the bar for a corner.
mins - 'Sorry, but at the back we are weak, totally lacking
in bite and clearly disorganised. They have lost their last four at
home so this is a nailed on defeat for us.' Yes sir, Adam Upsall
is not a happy chap. 'Wonder if thats the chance of a point gone,
hardly heard a comment from Scott or Cookie about our strikers! this
really needs to be a game of two halves.'
45 mins - Peep peeep peeeeep! Half time.
- Boston Town 0, Long Eaton 0
Half-time - 'I'm well over 6 foot,' claims Boris.
'I weigh 16 stone. I am not quick, but I tackle like being hit by
a pregnant hippo. Driving a tank. I'm no Crane, but think I could be
a Aldi-Value substitute. Reckon I could get a game at centre back?'
Kick-off! Let's hope for an improvement. I'll take anything, anything at all.
51 mins - CHANCE! Liam Green makes a poor attempt at a clearance and Win fires in a shot. Ex-Arsenal legend Chris Wright makes the save, but the pressure is all from the home side. Which isn't ideal.
53 mins - Froggatt hits a ball well over the bar from close range, but the excitement is quickly snuffed out by the linesman's flag.
56 mins - Boston sub - Ex-Busted star James Bourne exits and is replaced by Medine.
60 mins - Raking Up the Past with the impsRAKE™ UPDATES #3 - Boo. Crawley 1, Torquay 3.
65 mins - CHANCE!! Stalybridge are a fraction from extending their lead, James Dean striking a fizzing shot across the face of Wright's goal. Frustratingly, Boston aren't doing anything. Further subs impending - and how they need them.
mins - Boston sub - O'Redcardohan
replaces a dejected little Thommo.
74 mins - Boston should be losing this by more than the solitary goal. 'Elle to go up front for the last five minutes, 6-4 on. Elle to score 252-1. How are we still in this?' marvels Adam.
78 mins - Raking Up the Past with the impsRAKE™ UPDATES #4 - At least one club is making a decent fist of clawing their way back. Ugh! Crawley 2, Torquay 3.
mins - 'Adam. I shall come over there and kick you in the
shins in a minute. Stop being so negative. Boston to win 8-1. You watch!'
83 mins - Chris Cook and a spectator almost come to blows in by far the most entertaining moment of this shocking second half.
84 mins - It's about time Boston United repaid us something. Come on you bastards.
84 mins - Corner! The ball is knocked about a bit, O'Redcardohan tumbles in the area but the ref doesn't even consider it. Celtic, meanwhile, run down the other end and somehow contrive to not score after a free header at the far post is struck against Bloomer.
mins - It's all Boston, but they're not creating any clear
chances. A cheap foul conceded and the pressure's off the home side
for a moment.
90 mins - Penalty for Stalybridge! Medine hauls down a Celtic player in the box and if this is scored, that'll be that. Yellow card for Medine. The Boston players crowd around the ref. It's almost certainly a matter of moments before he accepts their arguments, retracts the penalty decision and awards a goal kick. Eh? Oh.
90+2mins - 'Who said it could not get any worse?' sighs Adam.
PEEP PEEP PEEEEEP! Full time. That was a real mess. A real ugly mess.
Last resort - 'Only thing that can cheer me up now is an Italian win,' says Adam. Actually, impsTALK will be rooting for a Scotland win, otherwise next summer will be a yawning void on the telly. We might be forced to actually spend time with The Boss.
Raking Up the Past with the impsRAKE™ UPDATES #5 - Not really any kind of consolation, but.... Crawley 2, Torquay 3.
That'll do - Scotland have just conceded what will probably be the first of many after 68 seconds. Things can't get much worse. Thanks for your e-mails. See you at Gateshead! Pete
© impsTALK 2007