Interview time! And Steve Evans sends out Paul Raynor to do
the talking! The man who has no fears of phoning fans at home to threaten
them with legal action once again bottles out of an interview where
he has to explain just why he's doing so well in the eyes of the Chairman.........
and that's us done, ta for your mails and all that. See you
next time, whenever that is.
Peep peep peeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!! So that's that, Boston 1, Swindon
3. In the end, a fairly routine victory for a team headed towards that
league where Yeovil play now. Boston weren't turned over by any means,
and at the very least made a fist of it at the end, but Swindon restricted
the Pilgrims' attacking efforts sufficiently to ensure there was only
ever really going to be one outcome.
90 mins - Hey, I've just realised I predicted this scoreline.......
(see below, right at the bottom)
90 mins - Ex-Boston Players Scoring Elsewhere Watch - Lee again
as County crush Torquay 5-2. Thank God for small mercies.
88 mins - GOAL!!!!!!!!!! Boston 1, Swindon 3 Sturrock crashes
home the clinching goal as Swindon break forward. Game over.
88 mins - Mick asks why he can't listen to his Match Live audio.
Since the impsTALK e-mail address won't allow me to reply direct to
his message, are you using Internet Explorer 5, since Premium TV haven't
grasped how to make the audio work properly in Mozilla...
86 mins - Swindon are under the cosh And at least Boston are
making a last final push to salvage something from the game. You can't
fault that. Although it does mean that Evans will tell Scott Dalton
that in the last, ooooh, let's say 35 minutes, only one team looked
like scoring/were in it/looked like the promotion contenders....
83 mins - Ex-Boston Players Scoring Elsewhere Watch - Jason
Lee for County now...
82 mins - If Boston United lose, does that make it more or
less likely that Steve Evans will mention THAT Wikipedia
entry in his post-match interview? Since it'd surely make him, once
again, sound like The Victim?
81 mins - Bury have just equalised against Lincoln, 2-2 at
Gigg Lane now.
70 mins - Ex-Boston Players Scoring Elsewhere Watch - Tim Ryan
hits the spot for Sotnick United
76 mins - "Where are all the fans? All sat at home
changing people's entries on Wikipedia, the posting the results on messageboard,
but using aliases (that have already been blown) because they're not
men enough to put their own name to it?" says Andy.
74 mins - Boston are now winning the yellow card count, 3-1.
"Just like the song "we're kicking em down at York St
ground" - I'm an Urban poet too" Mick 'The Bastard' Taylor
70 mins - 'Where are all the fans?' muse BBC Radio
Wiltshire. 'Maybe they're all tuned in via the internet or something.'
No, BBC Radio Wiltshire, no they're not. They're at home either having
a shit, reading the paper, or they're out recording videos of sub-Mike
Skinner urban shit-hoops that they can stick on YouTube.
66 mins - Substitutes - Broughton and Greaves off, Vaughan
and Maylett on.
61 mins - MatchLive updates..... Boston 1, Swindon 3 now.
60 mins - According to the MatchLive console, Swindon had been
leading 2-1 anyway, so it's no great surprise that Pook just plonked
one past Marriott. The only discrepancy is that MatchLive continues
to maintain that Swindon's second goal was scored by Roberts (14 mins)
58 mins - GOAL!!!! Boston 1, Swindon 2 - Capping off a classy
team move, Pook scores a wonderful goal from the edge of the area to
thump Swindon into the lead.
Suitable punishment - In sourcing suitably obscure messageboards
for Forum Watch, impsTALK stumbled across this somewhat
Attendance 2,101. Another bumper sell-out crowd packs into
York Street. Not that I can talk.
54 mins - Meanwhile, in the game I'm supposed to be covering - not
much is happening, except a number of balls being hoofed out of the
ground. And Cape Canoville's NOT on the pitch?
Forum Watch #4 - And luckily, NT has also thankfully refrained
from making totally unsubstantiated and, frankly, illegal allegations
on this multiple
personality discussion board, and so it remains open for the mentally
challenged to continue to communicate their experiences of Dissociative
Forum Watch #3 - You can still get as much arboricultural
advice as you like thanks to Norfolk Townie's generous decision
not to post a link to a Wiki article about how an oak tree once had
illicit sexual relations with an underage willow tree in a remote beauty
Kick-off - the second half gets underway.
Surprise substitution - Jamie Clarke replaces Cape Canoville,
who had had a decent game (as usual) and must therefore be totally crocked.
Forum Watch #2: Nor has the UK
Forum watch - Thankfully, as it stands, the Origami
Forum has not been shut down as a result of a slanderous post left
by Norfolk 'Dunce' Townie.
Salt and vinegar? - "The bit that goes "chips
n cheese that make ya lips bleed" - must have put too much salt
on them," says Mick 'The Bastard' Taylor.
Kickin' it down in Boston town - For anyone who can't be bothered
to check out the below YouTube video link, here's a pithy assessment
from learned culture connoisseur brrap1:
wun blud, riiite interestin stuff. De backin track is sick as! de chorus
is a bit basic and needs sumfin to take away de edge, nah wa'i mean.
luvin de way u keep bostonio livin real, but de shit bout the bronx
brings down de standard of de lyrics, sounds lyke u aint got nufin betta
to say. Keep it cumin, biggin it up 4 de Bostonian boi's"
time entertainment - As promised. And who needs the Rocking
Rev when you have...... Luminus,
Boston's very own 'urban poet'! Feel free to e-mail what you think of
this effort to the usual address.
Peep peep peeeeep! Half time at York Street. Boston 1, Swindon
1. Boston have stood up impressively to Swindon's challenge, but will
need to be on-guard in the second-half. I'm about to roll out a big
fat cliche..... this could go either way.
43 mins - Chance! Farrell forces a very good stop from Smith.
"Less of the "rather wonderful Mick Taylor" right! That
does fuck all for me street cred, ya know what I mean. I'm known to
my posse as Mick "the bastard" Taylor and I'm mean me... So
der. This song is bitchin by the way. I've listened to it 174 time now!"
says Mick 'The bastard' Taylor.
41 mins - Chance! Well, Chance-ish. Roberts rounds a static
Boston centre-back, who we must assume is Ellender, and one-on-one with
Marriott spoons the ball............ onto the corner flag. Well, in
fairness it was a narrow angle....
35 mins - Well, save for the two goals, the game has been very
unremarkable so far. Not exactly laden with trillions of chances, or
acts of wanton violence. Not that we condone violence, but it at least
ellicits excited squawks from commentators.
30 min - Ex-Boston Players Scoring Elsewhere Watch - Elding
has scored for Stockport at Posh.
25 min - Chalkhills
is a better XTC site, btw - one of the greatest, under-rated bands to
ever exist. Music today wouldn't be the same without them, says
Andy. Meanwhile, Mick is bigging up his half-time entertainment:
"All the kids at school are going on about it. Me, well I'm
just old and think it is laughable."
20 min - Worth every penny of the subscription - As well as
offering online commentary plagued by regular two-second dropouts, matchLive
have also reported that Swindon have scored two goals, both by Roberts,
with his second arriving in the 14th minute. This is also reflected
in their own text commentary. Which would obviously come as something
of a surprise to anyone actually present at today's game.
16 min - GOAL! Boston 1, Swindon 1 - Yeee-hah! etc. Thomas
beats Smith (the P one in goal) after Franny Green's initial shot rebounds
and nicely falls at his feet. A welcome gift.
13 min - Only another four goals for Swindon and we can open
our 0-5 account for 2007 in style.
9 min - Urban poetry - Thanks to the rather wonderful Mick
Taylor, impsTALK is going to be presenting a unique half-time entertainment
show that will leave viewers...., er, well, entertained, certainly.
I've seen it. You're going to love it.
9 min - GOAL! Roberts takes advantage of some comedy goalkeeping
to blast the visitors into the lead. Marriott was totally culpable,
failing to deal with a corner. You know what I'm about to say. It involves
the word 'flapping'.
7 min - As far as is possible to discern, the ball has not
once touched the floor at York Street in the first seven minutes.
4 min - Vintage flashback alert. Tore-Andre Flo has just scored
for Leeds! Did you hear that? A Tore-Andre Flow goal, in England. It's
1998 all over again. Next: Trevor Quow instructs David Norris to start
Kick-off - And another afternoon of misery begins.
Teams - They're in!
Marriott, Canoville, Thomas, Ellender, Nicholson, Green, Greaves,
Kennedy, Farrell, Richards, Broughton
Subs: Clarke, Holland, Vaughan, Galbraith, Maylett
Swindon: P.Smith, J Smith, Ifil, Williams, Nicolas,
Shakes, Pook, Timlin, Zaaboub, Roberts, Peacock
Subs: Brown, Weston, Stewart, Jutkiewicz, Sturrock
"A man so thick he'd have to study hard for six months
just to make it to the level of "vegetable"," writes
Charlie Brooker today. "A potato could beat him at noughts and
crosses - assuming he could work out how to hold a pencil and make marks
on the paper in the first place, which is doubtful."
Mr Brooker wasn't, as you might initially suspect, writing about Norfolk
Townie, aka Boardroom, aka Woody the Woodpecker - a classic web forum
terrorist who yesterday caused Steve Evans to demand, once again, the
closure of the Pilgrims Patter forum - but Jade Goody's boyfriend Jack.
"He doesn't contribute... but slowly subtracts; moping, blinking,
frowning at words of more than one letter, even frowning at noises that
sound like they might be words (if [a] door... creaks when it opens,
he gets a bit angry, thinking he's just heard yet another word he doesn't
understand and vat ain't fair innit). And on the rare occasions when
he opens his mouth to speak, he sounds like a leaden 10-year-old reading
lines off a card," Brooker continues, eloquently describing the
man who most definitely not Norfolk Townie. Although you might think
it is. Unless we tell you it isn't.
Anyway, moving on, lest we spend too much time gawping aghast in astonishment
at yesterday's creative editing of the Steve Evans' Wikipedia page,
the sun is shining, the winds have cleared - and as I type Liverpool
are beating Chelsea. A glorious day indeed, and so it goes that a home
defeat by 'high flying' Swindon Town is destined to ruin what is otherwise
all set to be one of the better Saturday afternoons of 2007 so far.
I mean, I know we've only had a couple, but.... y'know.
Swindon are a little better than when they last visited York Street.
At this point we'd provide a link to the match report on Ken's site,
but some comedy fuck-shit has caused Ken's site to be pulled, which
also does for our stats, because Soccerbase is too much hard work.
Swindon are better than Boston.
Boston 1, Swindon 3