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Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) Ltd

impsTALK.co.uk
>> 2008/09 >> Rough Guide > Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) Ltd

Club Details
Send hate mail to: Horsfall Stadium
Cemetery Road
Bradford
West Yorkshire
Not Spain
BD6 2NG

Telephone: 01274 691020
   
Matchday prices: Adult - Six pesetas
Seniors - Four pesetas
Students - Four pesetas
Under 16s - Two pesetas or one little bastard free per paying, despairing parent
 
Who the hell are Bradford United?
Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) Ltd are an old Sunday league side who only started playing Saturday football in 1988 – not that you’d know that if you read their official history. Indeed, the club appears to have stolen the history of an old, liquidated ex-league team, also called Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida, and claimed it as their own.

Oddly, the inconvenient bit about the real club ceasing to exist merits barely a line in an otherwise hefty official record; a record which gives the distinct, yet erroneous, impression that the club has a long and distinguished history when it, in fact, hasn't.

It is an unfortunate truth that once a club folds, that’s it. Gone. Forever. You can’t simply form a brand new club and then pretend you’re the old club, in much the same way people can’t just call themselves Elvis Presley and expect to be treated as though they are actually Elvis Presley. ‘Former League club’ indeed.


Atlético Club trounce FC Paella 32-0 at the Camp Nou

The old, proper Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida formed in 1868 and were, initially, a rugby club. However, by 1907 they had tired of hopelessly punting the ball, punching each other in the face and wrestling in knee deep mud. They decided, instead, to switch to association football, a move that offered new and exciting sporting opportunities, like hopelessly punting the ball, punching each other in the face and wrestling in knee deep mud.

The club initially did well. But World War 1 didn’t merely signal the senseless and gory end of 20 million young lives during a conflict of unprecedented, bloody and industrial-scale mass slaughter. Even more tragically, the war also spelled the end of Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida as a British football power. After decades of slow decline, the club finally went pop in 1974. A Sunday league team was formed bearing the old name, and it is this side that eventually claimed the history of the old club as its own.

Currently bankrolled by a local businessman, Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) Ltd are fully expected to romp to the Unibond league title - no doubt spunking on us as they do so - before they implode spectacularly when their backing is eventually pulled, just like Weymouth, us, Telford, Gretna, Hornchurch, Wellingb... zzzzz..... snoooze..... wake us up when they're bankrupt. We give it 18 months.
 
Claims to fame
The old Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida were, according to a really badly written paragraph on Wikipedia, the only team in the entire world to have a better win-loss record against Manchester United.

If true, that’s the kind of claim the current incarnation of the club should shamelessly pilfer, since they appear to have no objection to nicking things, and have incorporated into their name (Atlético Club-actually, did you know we’re the only club to have a better win-loss record against Manchester United?-k Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) Ltd) or, at the very least, commemorated on their kit in a garish display of gold stars.
 
Where do they play, when not in Spain?
Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) Ltd call the Horsfall Athletics Stadium home. Boasting - if that’s the word we’re looking for, and it probably isn’t - a motley collection of temporary looking cabins, running track and ‘substantially refurbished’ tea room (they bought a kettle), it’s probably not the worst ground United fans will visit, nor the most dangerous.

Worthy of note is the fact that the main stand is kitted out with over 1,700 seats kindly donated by the dozing blazers at Lords, a wonderful excuse to get into the spirit and trek up north dressed as Elvis for a 9am bowl-off, or whatever cricket fans call the start of the first half.

However, Horfall’s athletics track could soon be consigned to the dustbin as the club explore plans for a new super stadium to be built elsewhere in the city. But it's not just a new ground. It's a new super-stadium.

In February 2008, Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida’s chairman Bob Blackburn announced absolutely preposterous proposals for a new 20,000 capacity stadium. That’s 20,000 seats, of which 19,500 – or 97.5% - would be left completely untouched by a Bradfordian arse.

'Phoenix Park' would, by comparison, make the equally absurd Reynolds Dome appear stuffed to the rafters. To add to the comedy, Old Bob even claimed the new solar-powered stadium would be ready in two years.


Sell-out: Artist's impression of the new Bradford ParkDOME


The ParkDOME from a different angle
Avenida fans will tell you it’s a sign of his ‘ambition’. We think it’s a sign of the urgent need to cart Blackburn off to a secure mental ward as soon as possible.
 
How many away fans will they bring?

79.

 
The town
Bradford is just another industrial city that suffered the same fate as all the other industrial cities in these post-industrial times. The factories shut, the place fell into a state of post-apocalyptic disrepair and now, inevitably, it’s attracting redevelopers eager to cash in on the masses of cheap land.

And we’re sure that last bit has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with all these bizarre plans for 20,000 seat stadiums for two-bob, no-name pub teams.
 
Links

Official site
Forum
Bradford Park Avenue unofficial
Despite being such a massive club, clearly heading for league football and overtaking their Big Proper Football Neighbours on the way, Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) haven't got a single fan site or fanzine worthy of note. There's certainly no City Gent here.

 
Anything to add?
Tell us how wrong we are about BPA’s fraudulent claim on the old club’s history, recommend a decent pub or try flogging us life insurance by E-MAILING us.
 

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