Skam Sports


Rough Guides
Rough Guide: Opposition
Rough Guide: Club History

Rough Guide: Boston
Rough Guide: Who's Who

The Naughties
Classic Service Stations
Inept Defending Of Our Time
My (Bankrupt) FC
Skam Sports
All features

impsTALK stuff
About impsTALK
Contact us
Sites we like


Older seasons >> 2006/2007 >> 'Stay at home', Rodwell says

'Stay at home' Rodwell tells Staffsmart Stand

Cash-strapped Boston United have told the Staffsmart Stand to stay away from York Street until further notice – and more stands may follow, impsTALK can exclusively reveal in today’s breaking news exclusive breaking news update.

United - whose bank balance makes Enron look like a bunch of penny-pinching misers - made the decision to send the stand on extended gardening leave after they were unable to afford to pay for routine maintenance.

Chairman Jim Rodwell called the Staffsmart Stand in to his office on Wednesday afternoon and informed it that while it was still very much in his and Standing Alone's plans for the future, it should go home and not return to the stadium until it was called for, casting further doubt over the future of the club.

Speaking exclusively to, the Staffsmart Stand admitted that its future was far from certain.

“I talk to the Town End every day, and we’re concerned,” it said. “We want answers and we’re not getting any. We’re getting desperate and fear for the future. We all have roofs to support.

“My days are empty at the moment and I’m at a total loose end. I’m off to the Lake District for a few days with the Trent End just to get away and clear my girders, but I just want to know whether I’ll have any fans back on my seats next season. It’s time for some answers from those at the top.”

A few days in the country: the Staffsmart Stand snapped relaxing in the Lake District, but has genuine worries for the future

Rodwell has admitted it was ‘gut-wrenching’ having to tell the Staffsmart Stand to go home – but vice-chairman Little Jimmy was not quite so sympathetic.

“Go on, feck off!” he was heard screaming at the dejected structure as it sloped home yesterday afternoon. “Feck off you worthless fecker, and don’t come back until you’ve removed those obstructive supporting pillars, and installed some revenue-generating corporate boxes! Worthless fecker!”

Meanwhile, lucky Standing Alone backer Doug Hutson has spoken of his desire to regenerate the York Street site - along with the squad - if his takeover plans are successful.

“I’ll regenerate the stadium, I’ll regenerate the sportsbar and I’ll regenerate the entire surrounding area – the whole bastard lot,” he said. “That's a promise, not a threat. And then I’ll start regenerating the legs of any players sticking around hoping they might get paid.”

"They'll not see a fecking penny, I'll fecking see to that!" Little Jimmy added, helpfully.

Copyright © 2002-2014 | Contact impsTALK