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Digital Broadcasting from Boston United FC

Welcome to BUTV - the future of Boston United!

The advent of digital broadcasting means the airwaves are full of a huge range of sub-par television punctuated by adverts for ring tones, loans and misleadingly cheap car insurance.

Boston United aren't going to miss out. With revenue falling, BUTV has been launched as a subscription only channel on Sky Digital and TopUp TV.

Monthly subscription is £14.99 per month (8 fan points)

(S=subtitled, W=Widescreen, R=repeat)

8.00am - Breakfast with Blackwell
News and topical debate. With guest host Phil Hanby covering for Blackwell, who forgot to set his alarm clock. (S)

10.00am - Cash in the Attic
Playboy Micky Chinn stumbles across £5.3m in his attic. How will he choose to spend it?

11.00am - Time Team
Tony Robinson digs a huge trench underneath the York Street Stand, thus leaving it in breach of Football League regulations, after being convinced by a Midland-based millionaire that the decrepit stand conceals a Bronze Age settlement.

Time Team destroys ground - 11.00am

12.00pm - Working Lunch
Adrian Chiles investigates the collapse of Enron, which had nothing to do them them cooking the books and everything to do with their continual failure to publish the minutes of board meetings in a timely fashion.

1.00pm - SNC Exclusive!
Rob Singleton introduces all the latest Lincolnshire celebrity gossip, including shocking footage of Ron Coley squirting a SNC camera crew with a syringe full of BATEMANS (S, W, R)

2.00pm - Grandstand
Duncan Browne hosts live coverage of the Boston Borough Council sifting through folders 52 thru 58 of Lavaflow's planning application and deciding on whether it should be approved or not. (Subsequent programmes may be delayed if extra-time is played)

3.30pm - FILM: Back to the Futcher III
Academy Award winning Peter Crouch stars as towering ex-Boston centre-back Ben Futcher, who simply cannot fit into Doc Brown's DeLorean. In this action packed sequel, Ben tries tying himself to the roof rack. Starring Paul Ellender as Biff and Colin Woodcock as Mr Strickland.

5.00pm - Neighbours
Boston Town move into their new ground and are greeted with a friendly burst of machine gun fire from welcoming Wyberton residents.

5.30pm - Who Not To Buy
BBC show returns for another series as two middle-class soccer moms take metrosexual icon Jim Rodwell shopping on the PFA website (S)

7.00pm - Casualty
Dr Fox acts quickly to save the nose of a Lincoln City footballer rushed into the unit. Meanwhile, Dr Keef enters a spiral of self-hate after he is unable to save the life of his patient's play-off hopes.

3.30pm afternoon film

8.00pm - Cribs
Craig Singleton gets a sneak peak inside Simon Rusk's penthouse flat, plays polo with sinister Boston chairman Jon Sotnick at his enormous mansion, and takes a tour of Scott Dalton's park bench.

8.30pm - Life on Pluto
Time travel drama. Pat Malkinson awakes to find himself living in the 1950s, and, more horribly, he owns a football club (S, W)

9.00pm - Lost
A plane carrying Doncaster Rovers FC crash lands on a remote cabbage field in South Lincolnshire. The survivors find themselves being picked off one by one by the mysterious 'Others' led by a mad Scottish man. Can the Doncaster players blow the hatch to the shaft and hide from the yapping menace?

10.00pm - Lost
Episode two. Second part of tonight's double bill. The Doncaster players blow the hatch and find the entire 2002 Rushden squad hiding in quarantine. Paul, Dave and Nick build a raft and decide to take their chances in the North Sea.

11.00pm - Big Brother's Little Brother
The latest from the Staffsmart Arena with Gee Evans. It's eviction night at the ground as several young scholars nervously await the verdict from Steve, complete with customary boot-up-the-arse (S, W)

12.45pm - Sky at Night
Patrick Moore speaks with Prof Gordon Spaznozki from Arizona Stae University, who believes his team of researchers has discovered a Lee Canoville punt orbiting Neptune. (S, W)

03.00am - CLOSEDOWN
End of BUFC programming, with KMG Liquidators

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