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Digital Broadcasting from Boston United FC

Welcome to BUTV - the future of Boston United!

The advent of digital broadcasting means the airwaves are full of a huge range of sub-par television punctuated by adverts for ringtones, loans and misleadingly cheap car insurance.

Boston United aren't going to miss out. With revenue falling, BUTV has been launched as a subscription only channel on Sky Digital and TopUp TV.

Monthly subscription is £14.99 per month (8 fan points).

Opening Launch Schedule (S=subtitled, W=Widescreen, R=repeat)

8.00am - Breakfast with Blackwell
Wake up with the cheery General Manager as he falls out of bed the wrong way, treads on a rake and falls down the stairs. Local news and weather. (S)

10.00am - To Sell or to Sell
Join Boston chairman Jon Sotnick as he desperately searches for a buyer for his Midlands-based property. How many times will he slash the price before he finds a buyer? Asa Hall presents. (S, W)

11.00am - Bargain Punt
Experienced wheeler-dealer Steve Evans leads two teams of hapless football fans as they attempt to gather as many short-term loan deals in a frenzied deadline-day auction as possible. The winning team gets to keep their best player.

12.00pm - News Hour
Presented by a rough-looking, cider-drenched Scott Dalton live from his bench in Central Park.

1.00pm - FILM - Brief Encounter
Classic drama. A washed-up ex-international drifts into a small town looking for one-last fling with the big time. Includes now-famous scene at Boston station when 18.52 Skegness-Nottingham arrives on time. (S, W, R)

3.30pm - CBUTV - SpongeJon Squarepants
Cartoon capers at the bottom of the barrel.

4.00pm - CBUTV - Art Attack!
Kids art show hosted by Chris Cook. Today Chris designs colourful matchday posters with the help of a sinister puppet on a pedestal, voiced by out-of-work BBC man Scott Dalton.

5.00pm - Points of View
Feedback show. An increasingly irritated Jon Sotnick refuses to answer e-mails from viewers, sitting in uncomfortable silence for 28 minutes until the credits roll.

5.30pm - FILM - Bend It Like Evans
Lighthearted comedy as Steve Evans defies the odds to bend the truth after a 7-0 home defeat against Farsley Celtic. (S,W)

7.00pm - A Question of Sport
Graham Bean hosts the entertaining quiz show as team captains Jim Dick and Steve Evans go head to head.

7.30pm - CSI - Boston
A dead man found in the Maud Foster appears a straightforward suicide - that is, until Mark Isaac hounds the deceased's family with e-mails, predicted income levels from the man's estate and various complex graphs. The truth is out there. (S)

Evening movie

8.00pm - The Craig Singleton Show
Irreverent chat-show hosted by Craig Singleton. Music comes from upcoming Aussies Architecture in Boardsides.

8.30pm - Teachers
Comedy drama. Mr Woodcock keeps behind 10Y following an incident during period 5 involving a dildo and a hole-punch. He forces the class to help him polish a Jag, incurring the wrath of several parents. (S, W)

9.00pm - McCann Investigates
United midfielder Austin McCann infiltrates the seedy underworld of Shodfriars Snooker Club and captures amazing hidden camera footage of men farting, telling shit jokes and hitting breaks of 32.

10.30pm - The Malkinsons
The One With Des Wood. Hilarious sit-com starring Pat and Andrew Malkinson. Tonight, a wet-behind-the-ears property developer causes havoc in the family.

11.00pm - MOVIE PREMIERE - 28 Days Late
Horror thriller, starring Clive Owen and Scarlett Johansson. A leading scientist forgets to post some vital lab documents and causes a global apocalypse. A hardy bunch of survivors retreat to a safe haven in Stevenage - but their hideout is not as watertight as it first appears.... Edited for some mild forgetfulness (18, S, W)

12.45pm - XXX Hoof Babes LIVE! 10 minute freeview
Hardcore hoofball action as Lee Canoville attempts to clear the phallic symbol that is St Botolphs with a hard lofted punt. (18, S, W)

3 .00am - CLOSE

See also!


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