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Northampton Town planning completely unnecessary stadium expansion, restaurants, bigger shop
Sotnick monitoring plans

29 May 2005 - John Sotnick was awoken from his pre-season slumber today after he caught wind of Northampton Town’s decidedly ambitious plan to double their capacity of the Sixfields Stadium to accommodate 15,000 fans.

The Cobblers ranked fifth in League Two average attendance in 2004/2005, drawing an average of 5,955 fans according to ESPN Soccernet, meaning that they need to boost the number of empty seats above the present figure of 1698 as soon as possible.

The club also plan to build a bigger club shop and a new ticket office to alleviate the crushing many fans experience on match days. There is also a desperate shortage of restaurants within the Sixfields entertainment complex which Northampton plan to address.

Club spokesman Brian Elffrock said: 'This is an incredibly exciting time to be a fan of Northampton Town. There's nothing quite like going to a match and being surrounded by a sea of empty seats, or having an entire tier to yourself. And no longer will locals have to make do with Burger King, Bella Pasta, Pizza Hut, Wimpey, The Magic Tower, Old Orleans, TGI Friday, McDonalds or the Tavern. Now they can eat with us.'

With the Pilgrims planning on moving to a new ground just as soon as Boston Town officials can be drowned in the North Sea, the plans are of intense interest to Sotnick.‘Who needs a popular, conveniently located ground with an atmosphere these days?’ he said. ‘The trend is for horrendous plastic barns as far out of town as possible, preferably located to innumerable vendors of equally plastic food and Vin Dieselmovies.

‘If Boston United are going to make further progress, we’ll need to move soon, and Northampton is a model we should be following closely. Their plan is quite obviously just as idiotic as Darlington’s 95,000 seat King George MegaDome, but if they can get away with it, so can I.'

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